I so titled this blog correctly. I look at myself, my life, and just everything about me, and realize I am this incredibly shallow, lazy, prideful, rude, self-involved, snobby, ignorant, ridiculous, immature, contaminated, dirty, blinded, uninvited, foolish, wicked chik. I mean, nothing good I feel has come of me lately. I want a job, I want to save up money, I want to grow up (sorta), I want to have a car, I want to just do what I need to do. I just feel like my being here (my house, TAG, my church, in my friends lives, the 'net) is causing more problems, or just has no positive effect whatsoever. Maybe I really do need to leave. Just start over in a new place. Maybe I need to get a new email address, not tell anyone what it is really, except for a few people, leave all my web communities, and start over in new ones, if at all. Just start concentrating on workin hard, saving money, learning guitar, and whatever else I feel like learning. I think it would help a lot if I would just grow up, and just stop being such a frikin baby. No one benefits from me, or anything I do, including myself. I don't uplift anyone, I don't help anyone. People actually probably would feel relieved if I wasn't around. Or, just wouldn't have any reaction at all. I just need to grow up, get busy, and live a life of excellence, and prosperity, and richness. Just a full life. The way God called me to live it, cuz I sure don't feel like I'm doing it now.