So I have been neglecting my blog over here and have become obsessed with MySpace. A lot of people from my old Bible college do their thing there so it's been fun to goof off over there. But this will always be my blog home. :) Where it all began... almost 5 years ago. Dang I'm freakin old... 5 years ago I was 17! This guy came in the store today to hit on Leonor and he was real cute and so she asked him old he was. He said 17 and her jaw about hit the floor and she was like, hun I'm 22! LOL Dang! Good Lord! Anywayz...

I other news, I kinda met someone... 4 years ago. Let me 'splain... no there is too much... lemme sum up: Met a guy 4 years ago, went on a few dates, stopped dating, last I heard he was getting married, had a kid on the way and was planning on the army. Fast forward 4 years later. Homeboy messages me online. He did get married to an older woman, had a little girl with her, is in the amry and in Korea, and is in the middle of a divorce. We start talking, hit it off, asks if he can take me out when he gets home this summer, I say yes, we have a grand old time talking and regetting to know eachother for about a month. Then earlier this week, I just had this feeling that something needed to change, or slow down or something. We talk yesterday. We both had been feeling it. We still like eachother but we both feel he needs to take care of himself, his baby girl, and just be single for awhile. So, yeah. That is that.

I some other other news... I hate people who lie. Not that that's really news. Anyone who knows me KNOWS I hate liars. But who knew that someone who calls you their best friend would hide stuff from you, tell your other friends, and you find out that way. UGH. Sometimes people just suck. This thing has totally thrown the way I see my relationship with this person. I feel like telling her youre not my friend, I dont give a flying eff, do what you want and kiss my ass. But I won't. I've already seen her twice since I've found out. I let her do all the talking though... I have nothing to say to her anymore. YOU EFFING SUCK, HO!

So yesterday was my birthday (Thanx Leonor for taking me out after work for a few drinks) but today comes the real celebration. Friends from TBI coming to hang out for the day/ night, goin to an ASTROS GAME!!!! Fun will be had. Oh, also,here's a little bit of a funny thing... my co workers got a me a build a bear for my birthday. Whats funny about it is that they know when I was 14, I begged my mom to let me have a quince (I grew up around a lot of hispanics), but she said no. I was really upset too. LOL So the bear is a quince bear named Morena! LOL They're so crazy! So, ok, got a lot to do. Peace!

So, to the 2 people, who supposedly consider me one of their best friends, yet completely bailed on me, even though I really needed them, and I'm always there for them, What I really would like to say is YALL SUCK... or no, I'd rather use different words, but I will refrain. However, I am trying to find comfort in the fact that what goes around comes around, so good for me and krap for them... BEA!

This weekend will be fun and I CAN NOT WAIT! I will be done with school for the semester, I will have Saturday and Sunday off, I'm going to an Astro's game, and some of my dearest friends from TBI are coming to spend this birthday weekend with me, and I couldn't be happier! It's just gonna be so great! :) All I need now is for the Astros to get their act together for Saturday! I don't think the Giants will be too tough to take on, but still... they better do good, or I will be on strike yet again!

But yay for friends!

So I went to the concert on Sunday and it was great. I got to the place about 7:45 and the front row was open, so I was like, shoot, why not? So I sat about 6 feet from Don who was tuning his guitar and he looks up and was like HEY! So I was like HEY! It’s kewl when someone who means a lot to you, but shouldn’t really remember you, does. So then I called Kris for a bit and she was like tell him we said Hi, so I told him “The Fives say hi” and he was like oh kewl! Tell them I said Hi! So about 5 after 8 the thing started, but it started with a guy doing a reading from a book he wrote. It sounded pretty kewl, but I forgot to take a look at it after the thing was over. So then Don started into his set which was just awesome. The first note I heard him sing I took the biggest happy sigh. Even though of course Waterdeep, and the Chaffers are my favorite ever, I forget how much I love the voices of these people. The songs were all new except a few. The one that sticks out the most in my mind is one called generous people, in which Don begins to talk about a homeless man who krapped all over his bathroom. It was hilarious, but had a great point. Don talked about Miles a lot and had a song about him that was really good. Don let us know that he was kinda wingin it that night, so I blurted out “Big Word Tyranny”, and he was like I wish I remembered that. Too bad. LOL So they were on vacation here for a week or so and said theyd be leaving a few days later than they had planned and thought doing a show down here would be neat and neat it was. ? Afterwards we of coursed made a few referrals to the crying incident, and he was happy to hear that Tom got the story on video. LOL I actually told them if they would be in town Tuesday night they were invited to an Astros game. Unfortunately they were leaving the next day. What I thought was neat is that Don actually looked disappointed… so not like I was some silly fan being too generous. LOL Oh well. After talking about 15 minutes I had to go, so I said goodnight and left with the Muncie boot and the Whole Nother Deal.

I forgot how great “At Least I’ve Got a Car” was. I listened to it probably 5 times on the way home. That’s probably the best song, the perfect song to describe my situation and how I feel. Beautiful.

Lately I have really been getting into R&B and Soul again. Like right now I am all about Joss Stone. LOVE her. You wouldn’t think a white british girl would be able to bring some serious soul to the table, but she does it. I also have been listening to some Alicia Keys. It’s been really kewl to listen to some serious woman talent.

Ok, so I just lowered a HUGE bomb on my best friend. I told Sweet I wasn't sure that I could commit to signing a lease with her for 6 months because I don't know where I'll be in 6 months. We have bought so much stuff for the house. I was her stability and she was mine. And anyone who knows me knows that stability is my #1 everything. However, when God asked me to lay everything down, I did, but I forgot to ask what he wanted me to do after I layed it all down. I know something in my life has got to change. I'm thinking Im gonna change to fulltime work and part time school. I have to make more time for church, for the ministry, for GOD. And I haven't been doing that.

I have come face to face with how crucial it is to have fellowship with Godly men and women on a consistent basis. I hate where I am at because I do not have anyone aruond me like that. I'm surrounded by people I am constantly having to take care of, help, pray for, and all that. I don't have someone building me up, or that is just agreeable. I am actually really really thinking and praying about moving. I am pretty sure that I am gonna be gone from Humble by the end of the year. As far as my move goes, I am thinking about going back to Sugarland (I love it, there's no place like home), possibly Austin, and then there's the BIG move... I am gonna go visit Christian in July in Oregon... so it's just an option. UGH... this part fo life REALLY sux right now...

On a BIG TIME HAPPY note, Don Chaffer is gonna be here in HOUSTON on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! WoO frikin HoO! So as soon as I get off of work on Sunday Im gonna go over there and smile. It's nice when God gives me little presents like that... It's my early birthday present! :)

Ok, so I've been posting little quizzes, song lyrics, and dumb krap like that for the past month because I have not been wanting to face the facts that I feel like I'm falling apart, falling farther away from me, and falling farther into a place where it's all about me.

I'm so frustrated right now. I'm frustrated with school, with work, with friends, with family, with my spiritual life, with the lack of ministry prospects, and then there's the thing I do NOT wanna admit to, because I have been doing great in this area for a LONG time and have seriously been happy... Ok, I need to stop beating around the bush and throwing out excuses. I wish I had someone. No I don't mean like serious, marriage, relationship stuff. I have just been wishing I had someone to go do stuff with. Someone to go to a movie with, go to an Astro's game with, just have fun with.

I'm going back to my stupidity again. I haven't been going to church, I have not been spending time with God, and I'm becoming more and more a mess. I know what the solution is, I just am very unmotivated to fix the mess.

I feel so effing worthless. I'm such an idiot.

:x: name = Jess
:x: piercings = Nose
:x: tattoos = none yet
:x: height= 5'5
:x: shoe size = 7 1/2
:x: hair color = almost black brown
:x: siblings = 2 lil sisters, 3 lil bro's
LAST..
:x: movie you rented = Napoleon Dynamite
:x: song you listened to = Blood on The Ground- Incubus
:x: song that was stuck in your head= Hollaback Girl - Gwen Steffani
:x: cd you listened to = Keith Urban- Be Here
:x: person that's called you = Daniel
:x: movie you bought = Under The Tuscan Sun
DO...
:x: you have a crush on some..= Nope
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = YES
:x: you think about suicide = No
:x: you believe in online dating = do I beleive in it? Like it's fictitous? or do I think it works? I don't know...
:x: others find you attractive = Yes, duh!
:x: you want more piercings = yes
:x: you like cleaning = yes
:x: you like roller coasters= LOVE
:x: you write in cursive or print =print
FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships= against
:x: suicide = against
:x: killing people = against
:x: driving drunk = against
:x: gay/lesbian = Im not against them, but I do not agree with their lifestyle
:x: soap operas = they're silly
HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a girl = yes
:x: ever cried over a boy = yes
:x: ever lied to some= yes
:x: ever been in a fist fight = yes
:x: ever been arrested = no, almost
WHAT...
:x: shampoo do you use = thermasilk
:x: shoes do you wear = alot
:x: are you scared of = E.T.
Number....
:x: of times I have been in love = 1
:x: of times I have had my heart broken = 3
:x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? 3
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper = 2
:x: of scars on my body? 2
:x: of things in my past that I regret? 1,289,473

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: handsome/pretty = yes
:x: funny?= yes
:x: hot? = yes
:x: amusing? = yes
:x: loveable? = yes
:x: caring? = yes
:x: sweet? = yes
:x: dorky? = yes
FAVORITE:
:x: words: what?ever! benefits! Peace! Face!
:x: actor/actress: Micheal Vartan, Matthew Perry, Mel Gibson/ Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Aniston, Vivien Leigh
:x: band: Waterdeep
:x: candy: Skittles
:x: cartoon: Brak and Homestarrunner.com
:x: cereal: Cocoa Krispies
:x: chewing gum: Cinnamon
:x: color(s): Red, Black, Orange
:x: day of week: Day off, probably Saturday or Sunday
:x: jewelry: DIAMONDS
:x: movie(s): Gone With The Wind, Tommy Boy, Napoleon Dynamite, Princess Bride
:x: song: Too many to count
:x: summer/winter: summer
:x: trampolines or swimming pools: ooohh... tough! I love both

|| Friendship/Love ||
:x: Do you believe in love at first site??: NO
:x: Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: 2, 1 boy , 1 girl

|| You ||
:x: Nickname(s): Jess
:x: How old do you look? 17
:x: How old do you act? 40
:x: How old are you REALLY? 21
:x: Glasses/Contacts: neither
:x: Do you have any pets?: theyre not really mine but my dad has 2 pomeranians that are stupid as all get out.
:x: You get embarrassed: no
:x: What upsets you?: liars
|| Have you ever.. ||
:x: Thought you were going to die: no
:x: Flunked a grade: no
:x: Skipped a grade: no
:x: Told someone you loved them and lied: I didn't know I was lying

Methy... where the krap do you find all those little quizzes!??

71% (Dixie). You are a solid Southerner! And you are?

While some people *cough* methy *cough* won't admit they copied their other friends' blog's, I will... I'm a big fat copy cat but do it anyway! Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I know...
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know who I am
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know me

Thank you Jesus. Thank you.

So how is everyone doing? Well I hope. I've had a pretty kewl last week or so. Spring break was just what I needed. I had such a great time. I worked a lot, but outside of that I was able to relax, see my family, spend time with friends, and just have a good time. Highlights of Spring Break:
1.) I'm getting a nice refund from the government that is going towards my trip to Oregon this summer to see my best guy Christian.
2.) Got my nose pierced.
3.) I was able to hang out at my Mom's tea room with her and Sweet.
4.) Went to Portico (singles group @ Lakewood) with Jon.
5.) Saw Maroon 5 in concert and met Jesse (keys) and James (guitar) afterwards.
6.) Drank green beer
7.) Slept
So that's about it as far as Spring Break goes. I've been dealing with the fact that in my quest for spiritual change, betterment (is that a word), or acceleration, I have no one immediately around me who is there. It sucks and it's hard, cuz I get a lot of "oh you're doing that again"'s, or whatever. But it's all good. I'm not really down about it at all, it can just be annoying. But it's all good. God is good.

I have gone on a DC Talk trip lately. I don't know why, but it's here. I repurchased the Jesus Freak album since the one I bought like 10 years ago is insanely scratched up. I remember when it first came out, thinking that album was the greatest thing ever. As much smack as people talk about them (they're unoriginal, they're overated, sell-outs, a bunch of no talent losers surrounded by hype [none of which I agree with but have considered]) those guys really did do a lot for christian music and christian young people who were hungry for something kewl. I was really liking a lot of the rock music out at the time, but I didn't want to really listen to it, because I wasnted to have something more uplifting.
I have personally met the guys and in fact got to hang out a whole weekend with them. They were touring in Tx at the time and we went from the Houston concert to the San Antonio concert with them. Seriously nice guys who really cared about getting a good message out through good music and hopefully it would help people. I have relived so many memories the past week or two through their music; youth group trips, concerts, lock-ins, and just hanging out with friends. Some of the best times of my teenage life were accompanied by their music.
TobyMac (who, I don't care what you say, is a kewl guy) is gonna be here in 3 weeks and I think I'm gonna go with some friends, enjoy the music, jump around, and feel like a kid again.

Lastnight I rushed over to my Moms side of town because my sister told me my Mom was going into the hospital. To sum it all up, we found out that it is most likely fybroid tumors and her uterus is enlarged. They really couldn't do much for her except give her a prescription for vicoden, and some antibiotics to prevent infection. Unfortunately she doesn't have any money to get the prescriptions filled and is in an immense amount of pain. They told her she needed to go to a gynecologist. So she's gonna call UTMB (I think it's a free clinic) since she doesn't have insurance, and see what they can do for her there. Most likely they will put her on the pill to see if that will regulate everything, but if not they're thinking a hysterectomy might be in order. You guys, PLEASE be praying for my Mom. She doesn't deserve this. She's been working her rear end off at a minimum wage job to keep a roof over my sisters heads and just believing God for the rest. I'm believing for a miracle of any kind for my Mom's situation. Whether it be financial so that she can take care of all of this stuff medically and atleast get her prescriptions filled, or physically so that this whole ordeal is just OVER! Thanks in advance for taking this before the Father. Peace!

Update: 3/6/05:
Mom is ok for now. It ended up being some female problems. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the money to take care of it, and no one will cover her cuz they say she makes too much money (B.S.). Just pray guys, cuz what's going on with her really shouldn't be left untreated. Thanks.

So, I have been the queen of nostalgia the last 2 weeks. So many things that I can't quite pinpoint, but I've just missed stuff. Superbowl Sunday I was supposed to have a big party of people from my old high school youth group, my dad (the youth pastor), and it was gonna be awesome. Well one of the people who was supposed to bring about half the people in his car ended up not being able to make it, so I just cancelled it. And I missed my old rock 'n' roll, kinda punk rawkish style. The way I dressed, the music I listened to (Ska, Punk, and the like). It was just a lot of fun. So I went and bought a few things that I would have worn at one time. I looked and the mirror and smiled. I felt like me.
What is it that just makes you always wanna do what you used to do, be who you used to be, hang with the friends you used to? Man we used to have fun. I've had the biggest craving to jump in a moonwalk or on a trampoline. Maybe it has to do with growing up and reverting back to a time when you didn't have to? I don't know.
I'm just know I'm glad to have my studded belt, my copy of the first Supertones album, an electric guitar belt buckle, my converse shoes, the oppportunity to hang with old friends, and my continued search for the Five Iron Frenzy "Quantity is Job1" album, with the "These Are Not My Pants" Rock Opera... *sigh* you gotta love it!

So this weekend was pretty fun. I went to Leighs and we wrote a song together. We have the music and melody line down. I'm still arranging the words, but I'm very excited at how it is turning out.
I made my family and Leigh watch Napoleon Dynamite... hehehe I have to share the joy! :) I also watched Alien Vs. Predator with the guys. I was gonna go home relatively early on Sunday night, just so I could have a long night of sleep, but they really wanted me to stay and watch the movie, so I did. It was pretty good. Not as gory or scary as I thought it would be, so that was a little disappointing.
That's all for now, I've got to be getting to my 2nd class in a second. I am looking forward to Superbowl big time. Gonna have a good time. To see an ad that will not be playing during Superbowl this year go to Budweiser.com

Tomorrow after I get off of work I am heading over to my Mom's side of town. Im meeting up with Leigh to write some music together. So that'll be kewl. :)
I am having to kill myself daily, hourly, minutely sometimes. I have been really working on how much I talk, make my opinion known, judge others who aren't doing things exactly how I think they should, and overall on the pride that I've allowed myself to walk in for too long. It's been quite a chore. Tonight Sweet was gonna go out w/ some people she knew to a movie and the guy who asked her has flirted with her and what not before, and me being so overprotective of her, I cringed on the inside, but I said ok, kewl. Well, she knew I didnt approve somehow. And she was begging me to give my opinion and I told her no, but she got it out of me. There's nothing wrong that I know of with these people, cuz I don't know them. But as soon as I here some random guy is making a pass at her, I'm automatically thinking SCUM! I told her go, have a good time, Im just being paranoid, but she ended up not going anyway, which made me feel horrible, and also caused me to realize I'm still not there. I've got a lot more dying to do. A LOT. Lord, help me become more like you. Let me see the good in people, instead of believing everyone just sux. Please continue to kill me, and then heal me.

Wow... no nominations for Farenhiet 9/11 or The Passion of The Christ at the Academies this year... oh wait excuse me. Passion got a nod in makeup and original score... nothing though really about the content or acting ability in the film. LOL
In my years in drama, theatre and other acting pursuits I have found that Jesus is the hardest role to play (I had to play it twice (a beard is not fun to wear)). You have to show compassion and love, at the same time holding a strong, powerful role. You either can come off looking like an angry troublemaker or a pansy. It's tough. I thought Jim Caviezel did an excellent job portraying both sides of Jesus. I think it a great shame to pass up nominating him as well as nominating the movie itself. Besides the fact that I do believe whole heartedly in the basis of the movie, I believe great film achievement was made in the release of the movie. Tis a shame. I still think you rawk Mel.
In other news U2 announced their tour and sadly they are not coming anywhere near me, so I guess I will not be attending this tour. Stinks.

You ever notice how there are so many books out that are Christian and have nothing to do with Jesus? Ok, I know what you're thinking... I'm about to talk about how something is defined as Christian when the words Jesus, God, Bible, a scripture or some other form of Christianese is in it... absolutely not. In fact I hate that thinking. It's ridiculous. I believe the Lord looks at the heart. Something I've noticed though is that so many things are being associated with a purpose, a creed, a calling. A few months ago I realized I was getting so caught up in a calling I was forgetting the one who had called me. Everything had become associated to what God had made me for, not for God himself. So that my life would go smooth, not so that I could please my Father with my life.
I don't want to do what God has called me to do because it's the right thing to do, because I want to look good to others around me, because I'm afraid of the outcome if I don't, or any other lame excuse. I want to do what God has called me to do simply because Jesus called and I will obey. Simply because I love Him.

How come the Praise and Worship Station on my Launchcast player is not understanding to NEVER PLAY THE MARANATHA SINGERS AGAIN!?!?

Jen, imitation is the greatest form of flattery... so, basically, I'm about to copy you. :)

Likes:
Comfy sweat pants
Alone time with Jesus
My best friend
Macaroni and Cheese from Luby's
The first day of class
Flopping on the couch after a night at work
Conan O'Brien's funny faces

Dislikes:
The defensive driving video I'm watching
Having to stay up late because I have so much to do
The Maranatha Singers
That one dirty dish you find after you've cleaned everything
When I'm not trusting God

It's my first day at school for the spring semester and I just finished my english class and go to algebra in a minute. I am looking through some online tools for my english class and while doing so I'm listening to Praise and Worship music on Launch. I've heard some good songs that I love and one in particular was just "My Glorious" by Passion. I love the Delirious version the best, but the way Passion does it is good too. So I'm listening to it and I'm about to cry. Not a sad cry but a grateful cry. I have been moved to tears a lot more lately when it comes to Jesus. I mean The crucifixion has always choked me up since I was a kid, but lately it's been like, what is this liquid running out of my eye? I think this is God softening my heart and maybe breaking down a lot of the barriers I've put up, and the pride that has been infecting my heart. I'm just so grateful to know that He is in control, He is seeing everything, and that He's just good.

The last 2 weeks I have been doing a lot of praying, a lot of self-examination, a lot of laying things down. I've been so unsatisfied with my life, annoyed with circumstances around me, cynical about everyone and everything, and allowing myself to slip and become slack in many areas of my life. My walk with God hasn't necessarily been bad or anything at all, but it was at a place where the level of excellence was ridiculous. I'd been moping about how I wish I was studying the Word like I used to, I wish I was talking better, I wish my outward expression was showing my inner change.
Well I'm fed up with the wishing. I've made an executive decision, that's it. All this wishing is over. I've decided to make it happen. I'm not gonna be some mediocre, mopey, stupid, hem-haw Christian. The Word of God says I am more than a overcomer, that I can do all things through Christ, that He has given me everything I need in regards to life and Godliness... and on and on. So if this is what God says about me, then I'm gonna live it out. I won't be wavered by my circumstances, I won't be swayed by my emotions, I'm gonna do what God has called me to do and be who God has called me to be.
I went to Lakewood Church this morning and it was exactly what I needed. It was great to just feed at the table. I had been trying so hard to get involved with ministry and serve, cuz I have a hard time not doing anything and just being a seat warmer at church. Well, God had said He wanted me to take a break and just feed. So that's what I'm doing. Of course I'm itching already and started thinking about ways I could get involved, but I'm gonna be obedient and just feed. He knows what I need to do better than I do. And I know right now I need to be listening more about His direction, and purpose for my life. I just know I wanna hear "Well done."

So I ended up not going out with PJ and Emily afterall. She got called into work at the last minute so we had to cancel... I was just annoyed that I no longer had plans for the night! So I stayed at my moms and watched some Alias episodes from season 1, and then Eric came over at about midnight, so me, Eric, and my sisters Tay and Heather went downtown to Katz's and ate some gooood food. I didn't get to sleep til like 4:30, and had to wake up the next morning to take Heather to get a shot for school. That was a long day.
Some issues came up with my church... not what I need right now. I don't want to get into a lot of what happened, but I feel that I and some others have been led on and it's just a real messed up situation. However, I have decided not to decide anything. I'm gonna pray about somethings, but I am not leaving at the moment, if I do. I don't want to leave another church because of some bad stuff goin on. I don't need the baggage. I told God the other night, "I am ok with you. I am not mad at you, I love you, and I know that all this junk is not you. However, it's your kids I've got a problem with. I don't like your church very much right now. I mean I know you love them just as much as you love me, but I gotta think that you like me more." :) I'm not gonna get offended or make anyone else take on an offense because of my feelings or actions. I'm gonna stay at peace as much as I can.

I am at my Mom's house tonight with her and my sisters. We've had a good time tonight laughing and goofing off and stuff. We just finished watching a movie called Hanging Up that stars Meg Ryan, Diane Keaton, and Lisa Kudrow. It never got great reviews or stayed in the theatre long, but my sisters and I love it. We watch it and laugh at all of the little quirks the sisters have and how they relate to each other. It's just one of those family things that only yall understand. Good times...
Tomorrow night I go out to eat with my ex, and still friend, PJ and his new fiance Emily. A little weird, yes. I've kinda had second thoughts about going the last few days. I think about everything logically and how I think people should do things and if the reality doesn't measure up, I doubt it. There are some things I just don't understand about the deal (age, finances, education, a plan?), but I've had to come to the conclusion that it's not for me to understand. PJ has asked me to meet her, he's happy, they're happy, the parents are not objecting, and he's my friend. Friend. I love PJ more than a lot of people; truly love him dearly. I have a handful of friends who I have connected with through the years and no matter what they needed, if it was 5 years from now and I haven't talked to them, they could let me know and I would jump at the chance to just help. PJ is one of those people. I need to stop thinking of him as an ex that is also my friend, but think of him as my friend. I really am happy if he's happy, can't wait to meet this girl, and am excited about watching things unfold to a lifetime of bliss. I pray the Lord blesses them and guides them... Tomorrow night I go out to eat with my friend PJ, and his new fiance Emily.

Tonight, Alias began it's 4th season and began it with quite a bang! I loved it. I spent the day with my best friend, Sweet, watching old seasons and catching her up on what's going on (quite a task) because she was interested in the show. She's into J.J. Abrams' other show Lost. I watched some tonight and bits and peices other times and I just can't seem to get past that there might be a "monster" or "robot" on the deserted island... sorry.
I downloaded the program Hello by Picasa for hosting pictures and have recieved NO help from their website for the problem I'm having with it. I keep getting a blank page when I go to send a picture to bloggerbot that says "a hello embedded error has occured". If you have any idea how to fix this, PLEASE let me know. Or if you know of a better way to go for picture hosting, give me a holla.
What do you think of the new template? I figured I needed something new... I don't know that I like the way the side bar is set up, but I'm just afraid I'll try to switch it around and just screw it up. Anywayz, it's better than having a halfway missing title, which I'm thinking about changing too.

So today I continued to fight of sickness and I'm glad to say I have almost won the battle. I could taste today so that was good. :) I have been thinking about what the next 5 months of my life are gonna be like and I have come up with the phrase unprecedented business. Full time job and full time school. I know I am so blessed to have both. I thank God for it. The only thing I am having a hard time with is not being able to be more involved with my church. I have always been administrating, assisting, heading up, running, preparing, doing something with the church and it has been hard not being able to do that with school and work. It makes me not wanna even go to church because I hate being a seat warmer. I'm gonna continue to go on Sunday mornings to maintain relationship with the people there I know and that way when there comes a time I am able to get into ministry I can jump right in. It's a difficult thing I have to deal with, but I'm doing what I have to do and what I know I'm supposed to do.
As it says over to your left I have been listening to U2's new album a lot lately (thank you to my sis Heather for the great Christmas gift). Some are not as thrilled with it as they have been with U2's other projects. However, I find that I like how it's not so, "Look at us; we're U2 and we're gonna just hammer you into the ground with our awesomeness." It's a lot more personal, intimate, and meaningful to me. I really like it. K-stoo from the swimteam saw it as "no earth shattering record breaking history making pop project... more personal and not meant to impress." I know I like it.

Ok so one of my New Years Resolutions is to blog more. So here I am. It was a great year! A lot of blessings! Kinda a quick run down...

January- Finished my job at the fireworks stand, opened my first bank account, and became a real grown up. LOL My best friend Christian came down from Oregon and we went to Summit together. Awesome times. Oh and I got my first cell phone!
February- Gave the truck back to my Mom, and got my own car paid for by ME! Went to find a job and got one at a clothing store in the mall where I started in March.
March- Started my job. Started REALLY praying about finding another church after having nagging thoughts for about 3 months. Saw Kenny Chesney and John Mayer in concert at the Rodeo.
April- Saw Tim McGraw w/ my sister after my girl Celeste bought me tickets to go. I also saw Waterdeep and had the best weekend with a bunch of great friends. Me and Leigh decided to start a band together again.
May- Turned 21, and left my church to attend a different one. My Dad and Shannon go there.
June- Worked, worked and worked some more.
July- Still working, went and saw Maroon5 and John Mayer- AWESOME concert.
August- Got ready to start college. Nerve-wracking, but exciting. Band had our first gig. That was kewl.
September- Started school, got more hours at work... this was a blurry month.
October- More hours at work, school was stressin me out, had a gig at my church's youth group that went awesome, and saw an ex b/f. He wanted to get back together (AGAIN!), but my common sense over ruled my heart and emotions and told him no.
November- MORE hours at work, more school work. Thanksgiving was awesome.
December- Finished my first semester, worked a lot. Christmas ruled, New Years rawked, and now here I am.

As I said blogging more is my New years resolutions. I wanna be able to look back years from now and see how I've grown, how god has moved, and of course, the nostalgia is hard to resist! :)