Ok, so I just lowered a HUGE bomb on my best friend. I told Sweet I wasn't sure that I could commit to signing a lease with her for 6 months because I don't know where I'll be in 6 months. We have bought so much stuff for the house. I was her stability and she was mine. And anyone who knows me knows that stability is my #1 everything. However, when God asked me to lay everything down, I did, but I forgot to ask what he wanted me to do after I layed it all down. I know something in my life has got to change. I'm thinking Im gonna change to fulltime work and part time school. I have to make more time for church, for the ministry, for GOD. And I haven't been doing that.

I have come face to face with how crucial it is to have fellowship with Godly men and women on a consistent basis. I hate where I am at because I do not have anyone aruond me like that. I'm surrounded by people I am constantly having to take care of, help, pray for, and all that. I don't have someone building me up, or that is just agreeable. I am actually really really thinking and praying about moving. I am pretty sure that I am gonna be gone from Humble by the end of the year. As far as my move goes, I am thinking about going back to Sugarland (I love it, there's no place like home), possibly Austin, and then there's the BIG move... I am gonna go visit Christian in July in Oregon... so it's just an option. UGH... this part fo life REALLY sux right now...

On a BIG TIME HAPPY note, Don Chaffer is gonna be here in HOUSTON on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! WoO frikin HoO! So as soon as I get off of work on Sunday Im gonna go over there and smile. It's nice when God gives me little presents like that... It's my early birthday present! :)

Ok, so I've been posting little quizzes, song lyrics, and dumb krap like that for the past month because I have not been wanting to face the facts that I feel like I'm falling apart, falling farther away from me, and falling farther into a place where it's all about me.

I'm so frustrated right now. I'm frustrated with school, with work, with friends, with family, with my spiritual life, with the lack of ministry prospects, and then there's the thing I do NOT wanna admit to, because I have been doing great in this area for a LONG time and have seriously been happy... Ok, I need to stop beating around the bush and throwing out excuses. I wish I had someone. No I don't mean like serious, marriage, relationship stuff. I have just been wishing I had someone to go do stuff with. Someone to go to a movie with, go to an Astro's game with, just have fun with.

I'm going back to my stupidity again. I haven't been going to church, I have not been spending time with God, and I'm becoming more and more a mess. I know what the solution is, I just am very unmotivated to fix the mess.

I feel so effing worthless. I'm such an idiot.

:x: name = Jess
:x: piercings = Nose
:x: tattoos = none yet
:x: height= 5'5
:x: shoe size = 7 1/2
:x: hair color = almost black brown
:x: siblings = 2 lil sisters, 3 lil bro's
LAST..
:x: movie you rented = Napoleon Dynamite
:x: song you listened to = Blood on The Ground- Incubus
:x: song that was stuck in your head= Hollaback Girl - Gwen Steffani
:x: cd you listened to = Keith Urban- Be Here
:x: person that's called you = Daniel
:x: movie you bought = Under The Tuscan Sun
DO...
:x: you have a crush on some..= Nope
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = YES
:x: you think about suicide = No
:x: you believe in online dating = do I beleive in it? Like it's fictitous? or do I think it works? I don't know...
:x: others find you attractive = Yes, duh!
:x: you want more piercings = yes
:x: you like cleaning = yes
:x: you like roller coasters= LOVE
:x: you write in cursive or print =print
FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships= against
:x: suicide = against
:x: killing people = against
:x: driving drunk = against
:x: gay/lesbian = Im not against them, but I do not agree with their lifestyle
:x: soap operas = they're silly
HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a girl = yes
:x: ever cried over a boy = yes
:x: ever lied to some= yes
:x: ever been in a fist fight = yes
:x: ever been arrested = no, almost
WHAT...
:x: shampoo do you use = thermasilk
:x: shoes do you wear = alot
:x: are you scared of = E.T.
Number....
:x: of times I have been in love = 1
:x: of times I have had my heart broken = 3
:x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? 3
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper = 2
:x: of scars on my body? 2
:x: of things in my past that I regret? 1,289,473

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: handsome/pretty = yes
:x: funny?= yes
:x: hot? = yes
:x: amusing? = yes
:x: loveable? = yes
:x: caring? = yes
:x: sweet? = yes
:x: dorky? = yes
FAVORITE:
:x: words: what?ever! benefits! Peace! Face!
:x: actor/actress: Micheal Vartan, Matthew Perry, Mel Gibson/ Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Aniston, Vivien Leigh
:x: band: Waterdeep
:x: candy: Skittles
:x: cartoon: Brak and Homestarrunner.com
:x: cereal: Cocoa Krispies
:x: chewing gum: Cinnamon
:x: color(s): Red, Black, Orange
:x: day of week: Day off, probably Saturday or Sunday
:x: jewelry: DIAMONDS
:x: movie(s): Gone With The Wind, Tommy Boy, Napoleon Dynamite, Princess Bride
:x: song: Too many to count
:x: summer/winter: summer
:x: trampolines or swimming pools: ooohh... tough! I love both

|| Friendship/Love ||
:x: Do you believe in love at first site??: NO
:x: Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: 2, 1 boy , 1 girl

|| You ||
:x: Nickname(s): Jess
:x: How old do you look? 17
:x: How old do you act? 40
:x: How old are you REALLY? 21
:x: Glasses/Contacts: neither
:x: Do you have any pets?: theyre not really mine but my dad has 2 pomeranians that are stupid as all get out.
:x: You get embarrassed: no
:x: What upsets you?: liars
|| Have you ever.. ||
:x: Thought you were going to die: no
:x: Flunked a grade: no
:x: Skipped a grade: no
:x: Told someone you loved them and lied: I didn't know I was lying

Methy... where the krap do you find all those little quizzes!??

71% (Dixie). You are a solid Southerner! And you are?

While some people *cough* methy *cough* won't admit they copied their other friends' blog's, I will... I'm a big fat copy cat but do it anyway! Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!