Ok, so I've been posting little quizzes, song lyrics, and dumb krap like that for the past month because I have not been wanting to face the facts that I feel like I'm falling apart, falling farther away from me, and falling farther into a place where it's all about me.

I'm so frustrated right now. I'm frustrated with school, with work, with friends, with family, with my spiritual life, with the lack of ministry prospects, and then there's the thing I do NOT wanna admit to, because I have been doing great in this area for a LONG time and have seriously been happy... Ok, I need to stop beating around the bush and throwing out excuses. I wish I had someone. No I don't mean like serious, marriage, relationship stuff. I have just been wishing I had someone to go do stuff with. Someone to go to a movie with, go to an Astro's game with, just have fun with.

I'm going back to my stupidity again. I haven't been going to church, I have not been spending time with God, and I'm becoming more and more a mess. I know what the solution is, I just am very unmotivated to fix the mess.

I feel so effing worthless. I'm such an idiot.