Jun 27, 2003
Jun 26, 2003
I went out to go apply at a few jobs yesterday. Old Navy and Gap. I will most likely get one of them, since I worked at Old Navy before, and they're both the same company (along with Banana Republic), and they always like "come-back's". I'll probably apply at Old Navy Outlet which is the same distance from me in a different direction. I am also gonna start tutoring my sister Taylor tomorrow for her GED. My Mom and her husband have "hired" me to do this as a form of payment for insurance. They're not charging me for rent, utilities, and all, and won't even after I get a job. They will also let me continue to pay for insurance through tutoring once I get a job, so that rawks the casbah! I'm gonna tutor Heather too, and hopefully that will give me some added favor. I am going to camp/ school this weekend as a counselor for Kids Camp! Yay! I hope to go up for the Jeff Deyo and Among Thorns concerts. The Salvador concert is the same day I leave from camp, or the day after, so I won't be able to go to that one. GRRRRR!!!!!
Car situation is kinda dumb here. Jason doesn't want me to use the vehichles unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. I think it's a bunch of Bull$%!#, and I tried to work out a compromise with it, but there really is none with him. It's not like I'm a 16 year old driving a sportscar. I'm a 20 year old driving a minivan or a pickup truck.This sounds silly, but in a way I feel like he's taking away my freedom, my life, my sanctuary. That's what a car is to me. I can get out, get away, and play my music as loud, or quiet as I want to! All I do is go to the library, Walmart to walk around, Starbucks to read, Denny's to study, or take my cousin to and from work. It's not like I'm going to clubs, hanging out with heathen (I use that word lightly by the way) friends, or going out to do something stupid. In fact all the things I do are pretty dorky, dull things. But I guess that's just something else I have to deal with. He is gonna try to help me get a car asap though, so we don't have to stay in this place. I just think the meantime is stupid.
I jsut came out of Mom and Jason's room. They're in a fight, and I was kinda like a moderator, or what not trying to give them some pointers. Kinda weird, but they asked me for my input. Finally, after a lot of talking I said Look, yall need to stop being so defensive, take correction whether you agree with it or not, be quick to apologize, leave the past behind you not to bring it up again, don't say things in the heat of the moment, don't let your emotions take over, make the goal to resolve the stuation, not to be right, and look into getting some marriage counseling since yall didn't get pre. Then I thanked them for being a great audience. :) I really want this to work out for them, and they need to remember to do it all in love. I even made tgem look at eachother and remember how much they love eachother, and how God is rooting for them to make it, so to keep Him (love) at the center of the focus at all times. It's kinda strange I guess me giving them advice, but they asked for it.
On a lighter note my girl Madeline called me tonight. It was great to hear from her. She's awesome. One of the best voices I've ever heard. Criss and I have been keeping in touch the past 4 days or so through email everyday so that has been great, and Kaci emailed me again today. So Yay! WoOHoO! Well I gotta go to bed, becuz 7:30 comes early!!
Car situation is kinda dumb here. Jason doesn't want me to use the vehichles unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. I think it's a bunch of Bull$%!#, and I tried to work out a compromise with it, but there really is none with him. It's not like I'm a 16 year old driving a sportscar. I'm a 20 year old driving a minivan or a pickup truck.This sounds silly, but in a way I feel like he's taking away my freedom, my life, my sanctuary. That's what a car is to me. I can get out, get away, and play my music as loud, or quiet as I want to! All I do is go to the library, Walmart to walk around, Starbucks to read, Denny's to study, or take my cousin to and from work. It's not like I'm going to clubs, hanging out with heathen (I use that word lightly by the way) friends, or going out to do something stupid. In fact all the things I do are pretty dorky, dull things. But I guess that's just something else I have to deal with. He is gonna try to help me get a car asap though, so we don't have to stay in this place. I just think the meantime is stupid.
I jsut came out of Mom and Jason's room. They're in a fight, and I was kinda like a moderator, or what not trying to give them some pointers. Kinda weird, but they asked me for my input. Finally, after a lot of talking I said Look, yall need to stop being so defensive, take correction whether you agree with it or not, be quick to apologize, leave the past behind you not to bring it up again, don't say things in the heat of the moment, don't let your emotions take over, make the goal to resolve the stuation, not to be right, and look into getting some marriage counseling since yall didn't get pre. Then I thanked them for being a great audience. :) I really want this to work out for them, and they need to remember to do it all in love. I even made tgem look at eachother and remember how much they love eachother, and how God is rooting for them to make it, so to keep Him (love) at the center of the focus at all times. It's kinda strange I guess me giving them advice, but they asked for it.
On a lighter note my girl Madeline called me tonight. It was great to hear from her. She's awesome. One of the best voices I've ever heard. Criss and I have been keeping in touch the past 4 days or so through email everyday so that has been great, and Kaci emailed me again today. So Yay! WoOHoO! Well I gotta go to bed, becuz 7:30 comes early!!
Jun 23, 2003
I am up yet again late at night. I have had a real hard time sleeping lately. So while I have been up, I have made a few changes to my blog, decided to post, caught up on some messages, and got to talk to Daniel for 5 seconds. I haven't talked to any of my friends in a long time (except Eric, he calls me everyday). Kaci emailed me 2 days ago. I always love hearing from her. I'm gonna see Sweet later this week when I go up to camp to be a counselor (Thank God!). I haven't talked to Lindsey, Jordan or Christian in a long time. I miss my friends. It's weird being the bestest friends who do everything together, then we graduate, and we rarely hear from eachother. I've made the greatest friends of my life in the past 2 years, the people I trust and confide in, and it just sux that they're all so far away. I don't really have any friends around here (my choosig though really), so I sit at home a lot reading, watching movies, hanging w/ my family, and waiting to hear from someone. LOL I am happy though. I like being at home and just being at peace now. I've just missed everyone the last couple of days. If any of you guys read this, I love yall, and miss yall a lot. Remember who you are in Christ; Work like it's all up to you, pray like it's all up to God; He knows the end from the beginning... That's why they still call him God. :) I'm gonna go and try to sleep now. LONG day ahead of me. I'll update soon.
Jun 14, 2003
Jason (Mom's husband) will be moving back in on Thursday. He get's out after being in jail for 6 months. Originally he was gonna be staying somewhere else for a lil while then move back in after things were just, I dunno what the word is... I guess more comfortable? Anywayz. I'm a lil nervous, and at the same time, I don't care. I don't wanna be bossed around by someone who I don't really allow to speak into my life, and he knows he has a lot to prove to me, and I just don't know how I'm gonna deal with the way he's been lately (very legalistic). Then at the same time, he's like water off a ducks back to me, and my life doesn't revolve around him, and I just don't think it will be that big of a deal becuz he'll see I'm my own person, I live my own life, and don't need him on my back. Atleast I hope he realizes that. I'm just praying that I will remember that my spirit is king, soul it's servant, and body (flesh) the slave. I want this to be a good thing. I want to be happy, and all of us be able to be at peace with eachother. I want it to be God.
Father's Day is Sunday, and I will be going to my Daddy's gravesite as I've done for the past 5 years. I just go, sit by the grave, ask God to give Daddy a message for me, and I just talk. Usually about half an hour I sit there and tell him what's been goin on with me that past year, how much I miss him, need him, and wish he was around. My little sister Heather (15) will be coming with me for the first time. I've never taken her or Taylor (17). I've wanted to be by myself everytime, and didn't feel like they were really ready to go. But this year I asked them to go. Taylor doesn't know yet, and I don't blame her. Maybe she doesn't need to go, and that's ok. I do. I was Daddy's first, his Princess. I was Daddy's little girl. I miss him a lot. I can't believe it's been 5 years (on June 6th). I still miss him like it was yesterday. He's the best.
The my other Dad is in Ohio, so I won't get to be with him, but I'm gonna call him, and send him a late gift. He's really been such a strength to me. I miss him a lot. I can't wait till he, Shannon, and the boys come back.
I really ought to start a whole new entry right here to talk about what's on my mind, but it's late, I'm tired, and have a long day ahead of me. Just pray for me.
Father's Day is Sunday, and I will be going to my Daddy's gravesite as I've done for the past 5 years. I just go, sit by the grave, ask God to give Daddy a message for me, and I just talk. Usually about half an hour I sit there and tell him what's been goin on with me that past year, how much I miss him, need him, and wish he was around. My little sister Heather (15) will be coming with me for the first time. I've never taken her or Taylor (17). I've wanted to be by myself everytime, and didn't feel like they were really ready to go. But this year I asked them to go. Taylor doesn't know yet, and I don't blame her. Maybe she doesn't need to go, and that's ok. I do. I was Daddy's first, his Princess. I was Daddy's little girl. I miss him a lot. I can't believe it's been 5 years (on June 6th). I still miss him like it was yesterday. He's the best.
The my other Dad is in Ohio, so I won't get to be with him, but I'm gonna call him, and send him a late gift. He's really been such a strength to me. I miss him a lot. I can't wait till he, Shannon, and the boys come back.
I really ought to start a whole new entry right here to talk about what's on my mind, but it's late, I'm tired, and have a long day ahead of me. Just pray for me.
Jason (Mom's husband) will be moving back in on Thursday. He get's out after being in jail for 6 months. Originally he was gonna be staying somewhere else for a lil while then move back n after things were just, I dunno what the word is... I guess more comfortable? Anywayz. I'm a lil nervous, and at the same time, I don't care. I don't wanna be bossed around by someone who I don't really allow to speak into my life, and he knows he has a lot to prove to me, and I just don't know how I'm gonna deal with the way he's been lately (very legalistic). Then at the same time, he's like water off a ducks back to me, and my life doesn't revolve around him, and I just don't think it will be that big of a deal becuz he'll see I'm my own person, I live my own life, and don't need him on my back. Atleast I hope he realizes that. I'm just praying that I will remember that my spirit is king, soul it's servant, and body (flesh) the slave. I want this to be a good thing. I want to be happy, and all of us be able to be at peace with eachother. I want it to be God.
Father's Day is Sunday, and I will be going to my Daddy's gravesite as I've done for the past 5 years. I just go, sit by the grave, ask God to give Daddy a message for me, and I just talk. Usually about half an hour I sit there and tell him what's been goin on with me that past year, how much I miss him, need him, and wish he was around. My little sister Heather (15) will be coming with me for the first time. I've never taken her or Taylor (17). I've wanted to be by myself everytime, and didn't feel liek they were really ready to go. But this year I asked them to go. Taylor doesn't know yet, and I don't blame her. Maybe she doesn't need to go, and that's ok. I do. I was Daddy's first, his Princess. I was Daddy's little girl. I miss him a lot. I can't believe it's been 5 years (on June 6th). I still miss him like it was yesterday. He's the best.
The my other Dad is in Ohio, so I won't get to be with him, but I'm gonna call him, and send him a late gift. He's really been such a strength to me. I miss him a lot. I can't wait till he, Shannon, and the boys come back.
I really ought to start a whole new entry right here to talk about what's on my mind, but it's late, I'm tired, and have a long day ahead of me. Just pray for me.
Father's Day is Sunday, and I will be going to my Daddy's gravesite as I've done for the past 5 years. I just go, sit by the grave, ask God to give Daddy a message for me, and I just talk. Usually about half an hour I sit there and tell him what's been goin on with me that past year, how much I miss him, need him, and wish he was around. My little sister Heather (15) will be coming with me for the first time. I've never taken her or Taylor (17). I've wanted to be by myself everytime, and didn't feel liek they were really ready to go. But this year I asked them to go. Taylor doesn't know yet, and I don't blame her. Maybe she doesn't need to go, and that's ok. I do. I was Daddy's first, his Princess. I was Daddy's little girl. I miss him a lot. I can't believe it's been 5 years (on June 6th). I still miss him like it was yesterday. He's the best.
The my other Dad is in Ohio, so I won't get to be with him, but I'm gonna call him, and send him a late gift. He's really been such a strength to me. I miss him a lot. I can't wait till he, Shannon, and the boys come back.
I really ought to start a whole new entry right here to talk about what's on my mind, but it's late, I'm tired, and have a long day ahead of me. Just pray for me.
Jun 4, 2003
Jun 2, 2003
I got to go see Daddy's wife Sunday, and spend the night with her that night, and spent all day today with her. A lot of fun. Daddy is in Ohio right now, getting some work and things like that, and Shannon and the boys will go up there with him (he's coming down Wednesday) on Friday for the summer. It was just really kewl to see her, and the boys, and hang out. I love them so much, and can't wait to see Daddy on Thursday.
I have yet to find a job. I appiled at Home Depot (good pay, even though really not my thing), and also City Hall to be a secretary/receptionist (not great pay, but great benefits, and totally my thing, considering I wanna be in politics one day). The lady I talked to at City Hall said she would push my application through, and I heard through the "grapevine", that a secretary will be transfering from C.H. to the P.D. soon, so there could be an opening! Also, I have a good friend, and an acquaintance who work at Home Depot, and they said they'd put in good words for me. Something should happen soon. I'm ready to get into my daily routine with a job and such. Not only will I be working, but also working with 2 youth ministries, and also still gonna "Armourbear" (see May 10th, February entry), as well as teach my sisters this summer. Taylor (17) will be getting her GED, and since I got mine the test has gotten harder, so I'm gonna be doing GED videos, and workbooks with her. Then Heather (15) will be entering public school this coming fall. She is way behind in school (the school she's gone to the past 3 years has really screwed both my sisters), and they "lost" her records, so she will have to take a placement test, which I will be getting her ready for (I don't think the school lost her records, I think they're irresponsible idiots). I'm just excited, and look forward to having a full, busy schedule... and I wish it would happen already!
I have yet to find a job. I appiled at Home Depot (good pay, even though really not my thing), and also City Hall to be a secretary/receptionist (not great pay, but great benefits, and totally my thing, considering I wanna be in politics one day). The lady I talked to at City Hall said she would push my application through, and I heard through the "grapevine", that a secretary will be transfering from C.H. to the P.D. soon, so there could be an opening! Also, I have a good friend, and an acquaintance who work at Home Depot, and they said they'd put in good words for me. Something should happen soon. I'm ready to get into my daily routine with a job and such. Not only will I be working, but also working with 2 youth ministries, and also still gonna "Armourbear" (see May 10th, February entry), as well as teach my sisters this summer. Taylor (17) will be getting her GED, and since I got mine the test has gotten harder, so I'm gonna be doing GED videos, and workbooks with her. Then Heather (15) will be entering public school this coming fall. She is way behind in school (the school she's gone to the past 3 years has really screwed both my sisters), and they "lost" her records, so she will have to take a placement test, which I will be getting her ready for (I don't think the school lost her records, I think they're irresponsible idiots). I'm just excited, and look forward to having a full, busy schedule... and I wish it would happen already!
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