The last 2 weeks I have been doing a lot of praying, a lot of self-examination, a lot of laying things down. I've been so unsatisfied with my life, annoyed with circumstances around me, cynical about everyone and everything, and allowing myself to slip and become slack in many areas of my life. My walk with God hasn't necessarily been bad or anything at all, but it was at a place where the level of excellence was ridiculous. I'd been moping about how I wish I was studying the Word like I used to, I wish I was talking better, I wish my outward expression was showing my inner change.
Well I'm fed up with the wishing. I've made an executive decision, that's it. All this wishing is over. I've decided to make it happen. I'm not gonna be some mediocre, mopey, stupid, hem-haw Christian. The Word of God says I am more than a overcomer, that I can do all things through Christ, that He has given me everything I need in regards to life and Godliness... and on and on. So if this is what God says about me, then I'm gonna live it out. I won't be wavered by my circumstances, I won't be swayed by my emotions, I'm gonna do what God has called me to do and be who God has called me to be.
I went to Lakewood Church this morning and it was exactly what I needed. It was great to just feed at the table. I had been trying so hard to get involved with ministry and serve, cuz I have a hard time not doing anything and just being a seat warmer at church. Well, God had said He wanted me to take a break and just feed. So that's what I'm doing. Of course I'm itching already and started thinking about ways I could get involved, but I'm gonna be obedient and just feed. He knows what I need to do better than I do. And I know right now I need to be listening more about His direction, and purpose for my life. I just know I wanna hear "Well done."