It was so great being back at school. I got to go and be with my friends (my best friend mainly, Sweet 'n' Low), and just have a good time w/ a great group of kids. Being in the presence of God like I hadn't been in a while was awesome. There's just something about being "home". I loved being away from all the junk going on here at the house. It's been tough lately.

That's right... Jason's being a bit of a pansy... again. There's so much, I can't get too into it. Basically, he treats my Mom kinda how he treats me (like a 16 year old, even though I'm 20, and Mom's 44, and has been on her own for quite sometime, and around 10 years longer then him), lectures her constantly about what she is doing wrong, brings up the past, threatens her that he's gonna leave... of course he does none of this in front of me. He knows I won't just stand by and watch him do that. I've already called him on a few things. My Mom is constantly crying again, and she runs to me all the time to tell me about what's going on. I have gotten so infuriated with all of it. I swear I've lost my religion a few times. I said to my Mom the other night, in the middle of her spilling to me, not to tell me anymore at all, becuz I don't think I could handle it. I mean I just got so angry. I don't know if I can hear anymore at all, ever. At the same time I feel so selfish for doing that, becuz I guess she needs to talk to someone (considering she will blab to a lot of people if they give her an ear, and she needs to stop), and it might as well be me. But I don't know what to do! I mean I should be there for her, but should I be there when I am just becoming more and more angry with him, when I just got done forgiving him, and putting the past behind me? But everything that's going on now is not past... it's present, and (God Forbid!) future! Ugh! I need yall to be praying for me. And for My Mom and him as well. I don't want my Mom to have to go through a divorce or any of the stuff we've already gone through again. If yall have any insight, encouragement, scriptures, whatever, you're more than welcome to share in the comment section (click Comment Here).

God give me strength...

On a kewl note, I got Nora Jones "Come Away With Me", and Coldplay "A Rush Of Blood To The Head" this past Saturday from some gift certificates. My sister got The new Switchfoot "Beautiful Letdown", which I will borrowing constantly, and Toby Mac "Momentum Remixes", which has some fun stuff on it. A friend of mine (Eric) bought me 8, a perfume by Abercrombie and Fitch... actually he bought it for himself, but when he got home he realized it was a woman's perfume (maybe that explains why he liked it so much! LOL), so decided to give it to me. He'll either mail it to me, or just get it to me when he comes back in town.

Tomorrow I will be going out to go apply at a few more Gap companies around here, go to the library to find some books to start tutoring Heather with, also get Taylor started on some required high school reading. The I will also go look at 2 apartment complexes to get pricings on 1 and 2 bedroom apartments. As much as I wanna move out by myself, I'm thinking about moving out w/ my cousin, but I dunno. She's not living how she should right now, and she can get on my last nerve at times. I dunno, I gotta really pray about this... I just wanna get out. But I will go through the fire is He wants me to.