So I went to the party. Man I was tired. I was up 'til 4 am the night before working on her present, and was an hour late to the party (not a big deal) cuz I was working on it more. Her present is right here. It started off kinda bumpy. I was kinda quiet, shy, and was isolating myself. That's NOT ME. After awhile Stephanie grabbed me to sit outside w/ her. So I was out there talking with her and not very talkative, or personal. Just acting weird... A little history on me and Stephanie...

We were best friends. We turned our lives around to be closer to God at the same time, held each other accountable, we were the kewlest punks, in leadership at TAG, went to Mexico, she was there for me big time after my Dad died, we were inseperable. She meant more to me than anyone... she still means more to me than a lot of people (example, when I heard about this party, I got Kristi a present, and even got Steph one for her Bday I missed in Feb.). A point came where things got kinda rocky for us after awhile. Just we were changing, guys came in our lives, and just stuff. It hit me like a breakup. LOL I had a very hard time when I would see her, there were times I wanted to call her to talk about stuff, but I knew we weren't there anymore. The last time I saw her was a year and 7 months ago. This was the first time I saw her that it didn't hurt. Back to the party...

I went outside at one point, called Eric and bawled my eyes out. I had no idea why I was feeling like that. Found out later why... let's just say "my aunt came to town". After I stopped crying, and fixed my makeup, I went back in. I apologized to Steph for acting weird. I wasn't sure why I was. She asked if maybe "my aunt was coming in town?" Told her I wasn't sure. So we talked hung out, laughed our butts off. Then it was time to get Kristi her gift. So we went to the computer, and I showed it to her. A bunch of others came, including Steph. There were times I saw tears in their eyes, then we laughed so hard about so many things. It was fun. So after hanging for awhile, I decided to leave. Steph grabbed me and said she wanted my cell #. I was kinda surprised. So I gave it to her. Then I left.

When Mom came home that night she had said she wished I would have stayed longer, but I told her I didn't see a reason to. She said Bill (Stephanie's Dad, Kristi's Step-Dad) had said it was so great to see me, Kristi and Stephanie together, laughing, and stuff like when we were younger. Before Mom came home, I called her so she would write down the website address for Kristi. And I told her to tell Stephanie she was right about why I was acting weird. LOL So when she got home, she said she had told Stephanie. I asked if she got it, and Mom said that she did. Stephanie got a big smile on her face, and said "I know we haven't seen each other in awhile, but I KNOW my girl!"

I've decided not to get my hopes up. I know if I do and nothing happens, I'll walk away hurt. I know people change, things change, and that's good. So the odds of me and Steph being close again is very slim. I will call her sometime and see what's up. Maybe try to do something. I would say I would love us to be friends again, but I won't bet on it, but I know yall already figured that one out. ;)

I went to Leigh's tonight and we went over the music we'd be playing, talked, laughed, and hung out. Good stuff. I'll be leaving from this side of town tomorrow afternoon and will head into work. I had a dream the other night someone put new strings on Sweet's guitar so I could start practicing again. Boy would that be nice!